Remember that TV show What Not to Wear? The one where Mesdames Woodall and Constantine helped people of all shapes and sizes find clothing that made them look absolutely fabulous? Well this post is a bit like that, except here it’s Messrs ABC and Selfstore helping our customers distinguish the millions of things you can store from the handful that you can’t. It’s worth a read. You never know, it could be the difference between you feeling like a total lemon, when you get asked why you’re taking boxes of oranges to your storage unit…
That Banana that you brought in for lunch and forgot to eat, you know how it’ll go brown and start to niff a bit, then given another week that sickly smell of beyond-ripe tree fruit will become a bit overpowering? Well that’s just one Banana that you bought for lunch. So imagine if you broke the rules and had a whole unit full of stuff on-the-turn. By nature perishable things have a habit of all going a bit Camembert. Not nice for all our other patrons or our store teams who have to pass your unit. And it really won’t be long before they notice, at which point you get a phone call to come and clear it out. Perishable goods are therefore Forbidden. Interdit. Verboten. Vietato.
You could argue that anything living is perishable and is covered by that. But it’s common sense that you can’t keep anything alive in your storage unit. As cute and cuddly as puppies are, a storage unit is not the place for them and whilst we have heard tale of reptiles being kept in storage units in the USA, we can’t do that here in the UK. So in the event that your 12′ Amazonian Python called Crush is outgrowing your living room may we suggest contacting an animal welfare charity.
It’s subtle, but there’s a difference between flammable and combustable. Plenty of things are combustable – they’ll burn if they get hot enough or exposed to a naked flame for enough time. But some things are a bit more volatile, or, to put it accurately, flammable. That is they’re rather good at catching fire almost instantly and setting alight to everything and anything around them – so you’ll understand that for us that would be a really bad, bad type of #Boom. It’s typically fuels and oils, or what the Fire Brigade call accelerants – petrol, paraffin and so on…
The risk of the last seven years of archives in the next-door unit going up in smoke, or those precious pre-digital family photos of your storage-neighbour on the other side being lost forever is precisely why we don’t allow any flammable substances to be stored. So, whilst you can certainly keep your double-louisiana-style barbecue grill and patio heater in storage through the winter – you’ll have to keep the coals, firelighters and gas at home. Of course, in reality all that means is that the traditional first-barbecue-of-the-year-last-minute-trip-to-the-petrol-station-to-get-fuel-and-firelighters-that-you-forgot-had-run-out simply becomes a planned in part of your pre-summer routine. You can do it on your way back from collecting your essential garden furnishings from storage.
Cue the Sherlock theme music. Or the Professionals. Or the Sweeney. Or Spooks. In fact cue any cross-London drama where MET detectives or agents from a more secretive or fictitious crime fighting organisation root out the bad guys in the nick of time. Or maybe Only Fools and Horses would be more appropriate with their knocked-off or hooky gear. It might seem like loveable-rogue kind of stuff, but if you’ve ever bought a too-good-to be true Armani suit, or paid good money for what has turned out to be a fake Louis Vuitton handbag – you’ll understand. The spectrum ‘illegal’ is as broad as the criminal activity you’ll find in London. So from storing counterfeit or stolen goods to weapons and other underworld stuff – it’s not glamorous and it’s firmly against our terms and conditions. And of course we’ve got CCTV…
So that’s it. The (lightly embellished) rules on what you can’t store. They’re there for a reason, and we’re sure you’ll agree they are reasonable. They are there for one thing – to make sure that as well as ABC Selfstore customers getting the best value, best service – it is above all safe and secure.